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I tried it once, right? Dis masseuse, she’s like, “You’re so tense, Arnie!” I’m like, “I’ll be back—relaxed!” She digs in, kneadin’ my pecs—holy schnitzel, felt like heaven. Little known fact, ya? Ancient Greeks did dis—athletes gettin’ oiled up, rubbed down, all legit. Not some shady parlor crap—dis is culture, bro!

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Massage. Smothering. Wrestling. Wedding. Shoeplay. Braces. Deep Throating Vila Nova de Gaia, Perosinho. metalvocalist.

But then, I hear this weird noise. I look up, and there’s a goat on my fence! A freakin’ goat! I’m like, “Really? I can’t even have a peaceful evening?” I chase it off, and it just stares at me like, “What’s your problem, dude?”