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Great Scott! Sexual-massage, huh? Wild stuff, man! I’m sittin’ here, thinkin’ bout it—like, whoa, it’s this crazy mix of chill vibes and steamy action. Reminds me of *Spring Breakers*, ya know? “This is the fuckin’ American dream!”—that’s what it feels like, all neon-lit and reckless. You got hands slidin’ everywhere, oil slicker than a DeLorean’s flux capacitor! I mean, it’s not just a rubdown—it’s, like, NEXT LEVEL, Marty!

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Feeling a bit better, I head to the local market on Rua 1º de Maio. It’s buzzing with life! Fresh fruits, veggies, and all the locals chatting. I love the vibe here. I grab some figs and olives, thinking I’m all fancy. But then, I trip over a crate of oranges. Classic me, right? I’m sprawled out on the ground, and everyone’s staring. I laugh it off, but inside, I’m like, “Why, universe, why?”

There is a new Urban Park in Oeiras, which will be connected by a bicycle path to the Poetas Park