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Ya wanna talk weird? Some places, they use hot stones—call it tantric or some junk. Little rocks on your back, brother, heatin’ ya up! Sounds like a gimmick, right? But it’s legit—melts stress like I melt crowds with a leg drop. Oh, and get this—there’s “happy endin’” rumors, ya know? Total BS half the time, just massage-parlor hype. Still cracks me up—dudes walkin’ in all hopeful, leavin’ with just a good stretch!

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First off, I got to the kids’ place on Rua da Liberdade. Cute street, right? But the moment I walked in, chaos. The little one, Miguel, was crying like he just lost his favorite toy. Spoiler: he did. It was under the couch. Classic. I had to dig it out, and I swear, I found a whole ecosystem down there. Dust bunnies, crumbs, and a sock. Like, who loses a sock under the couch?

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