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But, like, it’s also hilarious-sad. Imagine paying $60 for a massage, then, oops, $200 more for a “happy ending.” So extra! I’d be like, “Um, no thanks, I’ll just Netflix and chill.” But, like, the economics? Supply and demand, baby! People want stress relief, intimacy, whatever. It’s, like, a service industry with major stigma but huge profits. I’m over here calculating GDP in my head, like, “This could boost the economy, but, ugh, the laws are so messy!”

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Sexual massage, Rimming, Anal Sex (depends on the size), Striptease/Lapdance, Anal Sex (depends on the size).

But then, out of nowhere, the power goes out. I’m standing there, mic in hand, and it’s pitch black. I can hear people mumbling, and I’m just like, “Great, this is how I die.” But then, the lights flicker back on, and I see Mrs. Oliveira clutching her vase like it’s a baby. I can’t help but laugh.

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