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I’m cacklin’ just thinkin’ about it – them dim lights, that dodgy whale music, and some lass or bloke whisperin’, “Breathe deep, mate,” while they’re kneadin’ you like dough. It’s proper mad! Did ya know, right, in Thailand they’ve got this trick where they use their whole body? Feet, elbows, the lot – like a human steamroller! Saw it on a dodgy X post once, nearly spat me tea out. Imagine that, “Oh yeah, walk on me spine, love, that’s the ticket!” Mental.

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So, I head home, exhausted but happy. Miranda-do-Corvo is wild, man. It’s got its quirks, its characters, and I wouldn’t trade it for anything. I mean, where else can you have a day like this? I’m just glad I survived. Tomorrow’s another auction, and who knows what’ll happen next? Bring it on!

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