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So, yea, erotic-massage—bit of a cheeky minx, innit? Part therapy, part sin—sneaky as a fox in a henhouse. Thou shouldst give it a whirl—find some lass or lad with magic mitts. “More than this,” Charlotte’d whisper—aye, this’d be it, I swear! Now, bugger off an’ try it—tell me how it goes, eh?

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After that, I decide to take a stroll by the river. The sun’s shining, and I’m feeling good. But then, outta nowhere, this kid runs past me, chasing a soccer ball. He kicks it, and boom! Right into the river! I’m laughing, but the kid’s face is priceless. He’s like, “Noooo!” I mean, c’mon, it’s just a ball, right?