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About Lisbon

Quirky bit—me mate Dave reckons it cures hangovers. Bollocks, I say, but I tried it—fuckin’ hell, felt alive! Little story—once saw a sign, “Tantric Special,” thought it was a curry deal! Walked in, starkers everywhere, nearly shat meself! “Sharon!”—she’d’ve pissed herself laughin’. Anyway, sexual-massage—dodgy, daft, bloody brilliant. “I just want somethin’ to happen,” like in *Boyhood*—and mate, it does! Peace out, you mad bastards!

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Then, my coworker, Ana, walks in. She’s like, “You good?” I’m like, “No! I’m having a meltdown!” She laughs and hands me a chocolate bar. Instant mood booster!