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What pisses me off? The price! 100 bucks for 30 minutes? Are you kiddin me? I could buy a sandwich *and* a nap for that! But when it’s good—oh man, it’s good. This one time, the masseuse, she’s all whispery, “Relax, let go,” and I’m like, “Lady, I’m wound tighter than a dreidel!” But then—boom—muscles loosen, tension’s gone, and I’m floatin. “We need to go deeper,” I mutter, quotin Nolan, half-jokin, half-wantin more. Surprised me, honestly—didn’t think I’d dig it.

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After that, I decide to stroll down Avenida da República. The sun’s shining, birds are chirping, and I’m feeling good. Then, outta nowhere, this kid on a bike zooms past me and nearly takes me out! Like, chill, bro! I’m not ready to meet my maker just yet. I yell, “Watch it, Speed Racer!” He just laughs and keeps going. Kids these days, right?