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I’m sweatin’ just thinkin’ ‘bout it—respect my authoritah, I deserve this! Makes me wanna yell, “I’m not fat, I’m festive!” ‘Cause after one, I’d be bouncin’ around happy as a clam! Clams don’t get massages, tho—sad! Anyway, it’s chill, it’s wild, it’s like swimmin’ with Nemo’s dad, but dirtier. You gotta try it, or you’re a loser, period! Seriouslah, don’t be a Kyle—get rubbed down!

Sunny (UNAVAILABLE)

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After that, I decided to hit the beach. Praia de São João is my jam. The waves were massive today, like, perfect for surfing. I’m not a pro, but I can ride a wave or two. So, I grab my board and head out. But guess what? I wipe out. Hard. I’m flailing around, water everywhere, and I swear I saw a fish laugh at me. Ugh!

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