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Oh, and the absurdity? Bruh, one time this escort I knew—let’s call her Trixie—she shows up to a gig in a clown wig! Client’s like, “What the fuck?” She’s like, “It’s my brand!” I’m deceased—DECEASED! Imagine that, fuckin’ in a rainbow wig! Shit’s wilder than me crashin’ a set naked. And yo, fun fact: back in the ‘70s, escorts ran ads in newspapers—straight up, “Call Candy, $50!” No shame, just game.

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Finally, I wrap up my work, and I’m like, “I need a break.” So, I head to the Miradouro do Castelo. The view is insane! You can see the whole city. I’m standing there, just taking it all in, when I spot a couple getting engaged. Aww, so sweet! But then, the guy drops the ring! I’m like, “Dude, focus!”