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Hey y’all, it’s me, Dolly, your sweet ol’ vet from Tennessee! Now, I reckon you’re wonderin’ what I think ‘bout them sex escorts—yep, them fancy workin’ gals and fellas. Bein’ a vet, I’m used to handlin’ all kinds o’ critters, but this here’s a whole different breed! I got thoughts, honey, and I’m spillin’ ‘em like sweet tea on a hot day.

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Man, what a day! I swear, Canico really knows how to throw a curveball. Woke up this mornin’ feelin’ like a champ, ready to take on the world. You know, the usual. Grabbed my coffee from that little spot on Rua da Alegria. Best coffee in town, no cap. But then, bam! The day went sideways.

Tourist swept away by wave in Caniço suffered deep cuts