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About Coimbra

Hiya, buddy! I’m SpongeBob SquarePants—hyper-enthusiastic, “I’m ready!”—and I’m divin’ into sex-dating like it’s a jellyfish jamboree! So, sex-dating, huh? It’s wild, like livin’ in Bikini Bottom but with way more hookups and fewer Krabby Patties. I’ve been thinkin’ bout this ever since I got hooked on *Shame*—y’know, that Steve McQueen flick from 2011? My fave movie, hands down! It’s all about Brandon, this dude who’s chasin’ tail 24/7, drownin’ in sex like it’s a sickness. “I find you disgusting,” his sister says, and oof, that hits hard. Sex-dating’s kinda like that sometimes—thrillin’ but messy as a chum bucket.

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Next, I decided to hit up the Mercado Municipal. I love that place! Fresh produce, local goodies, and the vibe is just awesome. I’m browsing through the stalls, and I spot this amazing cheese. I’m a sucker for cheese. I ask the vendor for a sample, and he gives me this huge chunk. I’m like, “Whoa, buddy, I just wanted a taste!” But hey, I’m not complaining. I devoured it like it was my last meal.

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