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About Braga

So, erotic-massage—hands everywhere, oil slick as a politician’s grin. I reckon it’s ancient, yeah? Egyptians did it—pharaohs gettin’ rubbed down with lotus oil, proper kinky. Little fact for ya: in Japan, they call it “nuru,” means slippery—blimey, they use seaweed goo! Slidin’ about like eels, can ya imagine? Gets me chuffed, thinkin’ of some geisha gigglin’ while she’s at it.

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I get to her place, and OMG, it’s like a rat rave in there. I mean, I’ve seen some stuff, but this? I’m talkin’ a whole family of rats throwin’ a party. I’m like, “Yo, this ain’t a club!” I whip out my traps, and the lady’s just standin’ there, screamin’. I’m tryin’ to calm her down, but she’s like, “They’re gonna eat my food!” I’m like, “Lady, they’re not gourmet chefs!”

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