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Sometimes it’s funny, tho. People slip off tables — oopsie! Or oil gets in weird places — yikes! “A little unorthodox,” as Gustave’d smirk. Not my style to judge, but c’mon, slippery chaos? Hilarious! Still, it’s soothing, sensual, kinda magical. Gets ya loose — like, *really* loose. Ever wonder who’s best at it? Me neither, just enjoyin’ the ride!

Body Rubs & Massages in San Antonio

I get to her place, and OMG, it’s like a rat rave in there. I mean, I’ve seen some stuff, but this? I’m talkin’ a whole family of rats throwin’ a party. I’m like, “Yo, this ain’t a club!” I whip out my traps, and the lady’s just standin’ there, screamin’. I’m tryin’ to calm her down, but she’s like, “They’re gonna eat my food!” I’m like, “Lady, they’re not gourmet chefs!”

Man sits with eyes open, cigarette in hand at own funeral as part of bizarre Puerto Rican trend