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About Queluz

O thou sweet rogue, hark! Sexual-massage, a wild beast, ain’t it? A dance of flesh, slippery as eels, hands roamin’ like gleaners in Varda’s fields. “I glean what others leave,” quoth she—same here, mate! Them hands pick up tension, knead it gone, leavin’ thee all loose and daft. Been around forever, aye—ancient Greeks rubbed bods with oil, callin’ it *apotherapy*, fancy word for “touch me good.” Made me chuffed, thinkin’ how them old blokes got it right.

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First off, I’m setting up my station on Avenida da Praia. You know, the usual—sunscreen, whistle, and my trusty red float. I’m vibin’ to some tunes, just enjoying the salty air. Then, BAM! A kid runs past me, screaming like he’s seen a ghost. Turns out, his ice cream just fell. I mean, c’mon, kid! It’s just ice cream! But nah, he’s wailing like it’s the end of the world. I chuckle a bit, but then I see his mom. She’s not laughing. She’s ready to throw down. I’m like, “Chill, lady! It’s just a scoop!”

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