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Hey, buddy, lemme tell ya—sex-dating’s wild. Like, real wild. I’m sittin’ here, thinkin’—boom—total game-changer. You know me, I’m Steve Jobs, right? Zen vibes, pause for effect… it’s like designing the iPhone, but hornier. Sex-dating’s all about that spark, that instant click. Swipe right, bam, you’re in. Kinda like defusing a bomb—tense, thrilling, could blow up anytime. Reminds me of “The Hurt Locker,” my fave flick. “The first rule of war…”—nah, scratch that—first rule of sex-dating? Don’t overthink it.

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Then, I bump into my buddy, Miguel. He’s always got the latest gossip. “Dude, did you hear about the new arcade opening on Rua da Liberdade?” I’m like, “No way! When?!” He says next week. I’m already planning my grand entrance.

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