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About Funchal

Funny thing, sexual-massage ain’t just sex, nah. It’s tease, it’s power, it’s fuckin’ art! Some places, they train for years – Thailand, I hear, they twist ya like a pretzel and ya thank ‘em! Here in Jersey? Hit or miss, pal. One time, chick’s phone goes off mid-rub, she’s yellin’ at her boyfriend – killed the vibe! I’m like, “What am I, chopped liver?” Almost whacked her myself, but I’m a gentleman, sorta.

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Finally, I got my turn. The lady behind the counter was super nice, though. She even complimented my shirt. I was like, “Thanks! Got it at that thrift shop on Rua do Comércio.” She laughed, and for a moment, I forgot about the long wait.

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