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Eh, sometimes I wonder—am I a perv? Nah, just curious! Sexual-massage got this rep, all dirty-like. But it’s chill—relaxes ya, if ya don’t overthink it. Favorite part? When they hit that spot—ya melt! Worst? Sticky oil in yer fur—er, hair! Ha, imagine me, Bugs, slippin’ off the table—splat! “This is not my skin!” I’d yell, laughin’. Anyway, doc, try it sometime—beats carrot cake! What’s yer take, huh?

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After that, I’m feeling kinda hungry, so I hit up this little taverna on Rua do Comércio. They’ve got the best chouriço. I order it, and while I’m waiting, I overhear this couple arguing. Like, full-on shouting. I’m just trying to enjoy my meal, and they’re throwing around words like “divorce” and “custody.” I’m thinking, “Dude, can you not ruin my lunch?” But then, I can’t help but eavesdrop. It’s like a soap opera, and I’m front row.

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