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So – check this. I’m scrollin’ X – seein’ posts. People hookin’ up – no strings. Cool, right? But – wait. It’s messy too. Like – this one time. Guy brags online – “Banged 10 chicks!” Turns out – total lie. Just him – alone. Sad trombone! Made me laugh – then pissed me off. Why fake it? Sex-dating’s already nuts – no need to flex.

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So, I’m wrestling with these fluffy beasts, and I’m sweating like a sinner in church. And then, outta nowhere, my buddy Miguel shows up. He’s got this huge grin, and I’m like, “What’s up, man?” He tells me he just won a local contest for the best cheese. I’m like, “Dude, that’s awesome!” But then I remember I’m starving. So, I’m happy for him, but also kinda jealous.

Funchal mayor detained on corruption charges, Madeira president is also being investigated