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So, sex escort—here’s the deal. It’s old as dirt, man. Back in ancient Rome, they had these “lupae”—she-wolves, hookers howlin’ at the moon. Little known fact: clients’d follow their calls like dogs! Wild, right? Makes me chuckle—humanity’s horny as hell, always has been. Nowadays, it’s all slick—ads on sketchy sites, coded words like “companionship.” Pisses me off tho—why hide it? Own it, damnit! Be bold, like that alien chick in the movie, lurin’ dudes with no shame.

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Then, I remember I need to get back to work. I’m hustling down Avenida da Liberdade, and I see this old lady selling flowers. She’s got the biggest smile, and I can’t help but buy a bunch. I mean, who doesn’t love flowers? They make everything better, right?

Agueda I. Johnston Middle School passes DPHSS sanitation inspection