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Wawaweewa! Me, Borat, insurance investigator now! Very nice! I check dis erotic-massage ting, yeah? So, I hear bout dis in Kazakhstan, but here? Wow, big surprise! Erotic-massage, it’s like, hands everywhere, oil, slippery stuff—makes me tingle jes thinkin! Like in “Amélie,” you know, my favorite movie, dat girl, she sneaky, touchin lives, makin magic. Dis massage? Same vibe, but wit sexy twist!

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Then, outta nowhere, I hear this loud music. Turns out, there’s a street performer on Rua do Comércio. This guy is playing the accordion like he’s in a movie. I’m talking full-on dramatic vibes. I can’t help but smile. I toss him a couple of coins. He winks at me. I’m like, “Dude, you just made my day!”