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Movie’s got this bit – “Everything’s falling apart” – and that’s the vibe, mate. Her heels clickin on the cobblestones, me trippin over me own feet, it’s a right mess. Surprised me how quick she named her price – 20 quid! I’m thinkin, “For that, I could get a pint and a pie!” Bargained her down to 15, felt like a bleedin hero. We shall fight the rip-offs, we shall prevail!

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Then, I got a text from my sister. She was in town and wanted to meet up. I was like, “Perfect! Let’s hit up the waterfall!” So, we drove to La Plata. The drive was beautiful, but the road was bumpy as heck. I swear, I thought my car was gonna fall apart.

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