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About San Juan

I get surprised too—some dudes, dey send dick pics first ting. What da hell?! No class, no chill—makes me wanna yell, “You’re terminated, asshole!” like movie line. Me, I’m old school—chat first, flirt, den maybe sexy time. Lightbulb! Dat’s da trick—don’t rush, or it’s flop, like bad mission. Worst part? Ghostin’. People vanish, poof! Had one date, she laughin’, touchin’ my arm—den nada. Pissed me off, felt like “Where’s the target gone?!”

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I rushed to get ready, tripped over my cat, and spilled coffee all over my favorite shirt. Great start, huh? I was like, “C’mon, Caguas, don’t do me like this!” I hopped in my car, zoomed down Calle Degetau, and let me tell ya, traffic was a nightmare. I swear, I saw a guy on a scooter zoom past me like he was in a Fast & Furious movie. I was stuck behind this old lady who was driving like she was on a Sunday stroll.

El centro y el corazón: Alex Cora went home to Puerto Rico to prepare for his first season as Red Sox manager