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You gotta watch yerself, though – coppers are sneakin’ round, bustin’ girls left, right, n center. One mate o’ mine, daft sod, got nabbed cos he’s too loud – “idiot sandwich!” I told him, “You’re the hero Gotham deserves, not the one it needs!” He’s laughin’, I’m fumin’, cos he’s a proper knob. Me, I’m slyer, yeah? Duckin’ alleys, dodgin’ filth. Found this one bird – fit as fuck – but she’s quotin’ me 100! I’m like, “You’re takin’ the piss, love!” Bargained her down to 70 – victory, mate, I’m chuffed!

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We hit the water, and it’s beautiful. The waves are chill, the sun’s settin’, and I’m feelin’ good. But then, BAM! A wave hits us, and her snacks go flyin’ everywhere! I’m tryin’ to catch ‘em, but it’s a disaster. She’s screamin’, “My cookies!” I’m laughin’ so hard, I can’t breathe.

Naked Italians spark protests against antics of drunken tourists in Barcelona