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So, escorts, man, they out here hustlin’. Ain’t just sex, nah, it’s company, vibe, escape. Some cats pay big stacks just to talk, wild, huh? I read this story once, blew my mind—dude in Vegas hired an escort to play chess! Chess, fam! She smoked him in 10 moves, took his cash, bounced. That’s gangsta. Bet she whispered, “You’re all just bones,” like in *Leviathan*, cold as ice.

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First off, I hit up Calle San Juan for my morning coffee. You know, the little spot with the best café con leche? Yeah, that one. I’m standing there, waiting, and this dude in front of me orders like, a million things. I’m like, “Bro, it’s 7 AM, not a brunch buffet!” Finally, I get my coffee, and it’s perfect. I take a sip, and boom! It’s like a hug in a cup. I’m feelin’ good, right?

Freshman US lawmaker from Colorado to chair subpanel overseeing Puerto Rico