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Chatty me, I’d tell Patrick – “Dude, it’s naughty but nice!” Little secret – tantric massage? Roots in India, 5000 years back! Blows me mind! Sarcasm time – “Oh sure, Bikini Bottom’s got *tons* of parlors!” Nah, we’re too square. Still, I’m ready! Sexual-massage rocks – loosens ya up, makes ya glow. Like the movie – raw, messy, human. What’s yer take, pal?

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But then, I get a call on the radio. There’s a disturbance at the beach. I’m like, “Seriously? It’s a beach day!” But duty calls, so I head over to Playa de Arroyo. When I get there, it’s chaos. A bunch of teenagers are throwin’ a party, and it’s gettin’ outta hand. Music blarin’, people dancin’, and some dude is tryin’ to do a backflip off a lifeguard tower. I’m like, “This ain’t a movie, man!”

Arroyo Grande residents divided over transgender student-athlete at Arroyo Grande High School