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Sometimes I’m like, damn, why’s it gotta be illegal? Makes me happy seein’ places like Amsterdam figurin’ it out, givin’ escorts rights n’ shit. But then I get surprised—motherfucker, some escorts makin’ six figures! More than me sittin’ here ramblin’! Exaggeratin’? Maybe, but I’d bet my left nut some are ballin’ harder than we think. “Nobody knows anything,” like Larry Gopnik says in the flick—fits escort perfect, ‘cause who really gets it?

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Then, I see this commotion near the fountain. Turns out, some kid’s dog jumped in, and everyone’s freakin’ out. I’m like, “Dude, it’s just water!” But the kid was cryin’ like he lost his best friend. So, I jump in to help. I’m not a dog whisperer, but I managed to coax the pup out. The kid was so happy, he hugged me like I was his long-lost uncle. I mean, I’m just doin’ my job, right?

Seahawks draft tight end Elijah Arroyo: How he fits, draft grade and scouting intel - The Athletic