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What gets me goin’? The hypocrisy, that’s what. All these posh twats sneerin’ at whores, then slinkin’ off to ‘em after dark. Makes me wanna punch somethin’. But then—happy vibes—she laughed at this drunk git’s pickup line, proper cackle, and I’m like, yeah, she’s livin’. Surprised me how quick she clocked me as Bond—eyes sharp as a blade. “You’re trouble,” she says, smirkin’. Damn right, love.

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After that, we hit up a local pierogi place. Best decision ever! I stuffed my face with pierogi ruskie. Like, I could’ve eaten a hundred. My mood lifted instantly. Food fixes everything, right?

Michal Siewniak: I highly recommend a visit to Poland