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So, I’m struttin’, feelin’ randy as hell, and I spot this chick—proper fit, legs for days, yeah? She’s givin’ me the eye, like, “How happy is the blameless vestal’s lot!”—y’know, that poetic jazz from the film. I’m like, “Groovy, baby, let’s shag!” But—plot twist—she’s dodgy, man! Charges me double, says it’s “inflation, love.” Inflation my arse! Made me mad as a hatter—nearly lost my mojo there.

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After the rain, the streets are all shiny and fresh. I head to the park by ul. Wrzosowa. It’s my favorite spot. I plop down on a bench, just chillin’. But then, I see this couple arguing. Like, full-on shouting. I’m trying not to eavesdrop, but it’s hard. They’re fighting about…wait for it…who left the fridge open. I’m dying inside. “Get a grip, people!”

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