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Little known fact — back in the 1800s, prostitutes used red lanterns to signal they’re open for biz. Ain’t that wild? Bet Jesse’d tip his hat to that! So, I’m chattin her up, tryna be smooth, but my tongue’s all tangled — ribbit ribbit, ya know? She’s like, “What’s a frog want anyway?” I’m thinkin, “Companionship, duh!” Made me mad tho — why’s she judgin me? I’m Kermit, dammit! Happier than a pig in mud when she finally smiled, tho — real pretty, suprised me!

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So, I rush through the paperwork, and just as I’m about to leave, I get a text from my buddy. He’s like, “Dude, you won’t believe what happened!” I’m thinking, “I’ve had enough surprises for one day!” But curiosity gets the best of me. Turns out, he found a lost dog and is bringing it to me. Great, just what I need!

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