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About Warsaw

Lemme tell ya, I got pissed once—some chick quoted me $500 for an hour. $500! I’m like, “Lady, I sell insurance, not Wall Street!” Reminded me of Monty in *25th Hour*—“Champagne wishes and caviar dreams,” but I ain’t got that cash flow. Greed is good, sure, but I ain’t dumb. Negotiate, bro—always negotiate. They’ll drop it to $200 if ya push.

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I rush to the station, heart racin’. Turns out, some dude decided to climb a tree. A TREE! I mean, who does that? But this wasn’t just any tree. It was one of those ancient oaks, like, over a hundred years old. And he’s up there, yelling about how he’s the “King of the Forest.” I’m like, “Bro, you’re in Tomaszow, not Narnia!”

Athletes to watch at the speed skating World Cup Tomaszów Mazowiecki