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I roll up, shades on, feelin like a champ. This chick struts over—legs for days, skirt shorter than a jobber’s career. “What’s your name?” I growl, all Hulkster bravado. She’s like, “Does it matter?” Ha! Cold as ice, brother! Made me laugh, but also pissed me off—gimme somethin to work with, lady! I’m thinkin, “I lie to myself all the time,” like in *Memento*. Am I even here for this? Brain’s spinnin.

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Finally, the fire crew shows up. They’re all geared up, and I’m thinkin’, “Finally, some real heroes.” They set up the ladder, and the dude’s still up there, livin’ his best life. They coax him down with a promise of pizza. I mean, who can resist pizza, right?

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