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Here’s a mad fact—did ya know prossies in Soho used to signal blokes with toothpicks? Little wink, toothpick in the gob—code, innit? Blew my mind, that—dental history in the game! Anyway, I’m chattin’ her up, tryin’ to haggle—“Candy, love, how about a discount? I’ll sort yer molars!” She’s havin’ none of it—stone cold, like. Gutted me, that did—thought I’d charmed her with me Brent-isms.

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Then, I get a text from my buddy. He’s like, “Let’s hit up the river!” I’m down, so I head over to the Bzura. It’s beautiful there, but man, the mosquitoes are out for blood! I’m slapping my arms like a madman. I swear, I’m more mosquito than human at this point.

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