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Clarice… lemme tell ya bout findin a prostitute, heh, slippery lil devils they are, like them eels I study—Ichthyologist by day, ya know, fish-whisperer supreme. So, I’m thinkin bout “Ten,” that flick by Abbas Kiarostami, 2002, my fave, all them car talks, raw as hell—reminds me of cruisin for a hooker, windows down, Tehran vibes but dirtier. “The world is yours,” she says in the movie, right? Ha! More like, “The street’s mine, cash up front.”

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I’m rummaging through the racks, and I find this ridiculous jacket. It’s bright orange, like a traffic cone. I put it on, and I’m strutting around like I own the place. The shopkeeper’s cracking up. I’m like, “What? It’s fashion!”

What was I thinking? Kashubian ethno-philology in the eyes of female graduates