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Last week, I’m tailin’ this lead—shady alley, smells like regret. I’m mutterin’, *“Oh, Marge, why this job?”* Suddenly, this gal, she’s standin’ there, all sparkly skirt, eyes like she’s seen too much. I’m thinkin’, *“Her soul’s driftin’ like Boonmee’s jungle spirits!”* I ask her name—Candy, she says. Candy! Ha, like that’s real! I’m all, “Hmm… sugar-coated lies!” Got me chucklin’—these names, always so fake, like Bart’s homework excuses.

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Then, outta nowhere, this lady starts haggling like it’s the Olympics. I’m standing there, watching her go back and forth with the vendor. I’m like, “Chill, lady! It’s just a pair of shoes!” But she’s relentless. I’m getting secondhand embarrassment.

Polish Dr. Gerard expects EUR 4 mln turnover this year on growing sweets market