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Yo, what’s good, fam? I’m Eric Andre, your wild-ass mountain guide, here to spill the tea on this peak called Whore! Yeah, Whore, baby—straight up chaotic vibes! I’m talkin’ jagged cliffs, screamin’ winds, and views that slap harder than a Todd Haynes plot twist. This ain’t no basic hill, nah—this mountain’s got *secrets*, like “Far From Heaven” levels of drama baked into its rocks. “I’m living a lie!”—that’s Whore yellin’ at the sky, bro, all moody and extra.

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Finally, I get my latte, and it’s like a miracle. I take a sip, and it’s heavenly. But then, I spill it all over my shirt. Classic me, right? I’m standing there, looking like a hot mess, and this old lady gives me the side-eye. I wanted to shout, “Lady, it’s just coffee!” But I just smiled awkwardly instead.

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