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Humor? Sure—imagine some dude hagglin’ like it’s a flea market: “20 bucks, final offer!” She’d laugh in his face, “Boy, this ain’t Goodwill!” Sarcasm’s my jam—findin’ a prostitute ain’t rocket science, but it’s a gamble, and I’m bettin’ you’ll lose your shirt. Personal quirk? I’d probly overthink it, like, “Is she judgin’ me? Am I judgin’ her?”—then I’d trip over my own feet, classic me.

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We hit the shops. First stop? A boutique on ul. Poludnie. I’m hyped! But then, disaster strikes. The dress she loves? Out of stock. I can’t even. Kasia’s face? Total meltdown. I’m trying to calm her down, but she’s like, “What do you mean, out of stock?!”