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Here’s the tea—don’t be a dumbass. Check reviews, avoid alleys, use cash—duh. Me? I’d prob’ly overthink it, like, “Is she cool? Does she judge?” Total Larry move, stressin’ over nothin’. Once heard this story—guy hires a gal, she’s a ventriloquist, does the whole “date” with a puppet. Freaky, right? Exaggeratin’? Maybe, but I’d buy it—life’s WEIRD. “The uncertainty principle,” as the movie says—ya never know what’s comin’.

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I step outside, and boom! It’s like the universe decided to throw a party. The sun’s shining, birds are chirping, and I’m thinking, “Okay, Pawlowice, you’re trying to impress me.” I stroll down ul. Słowackiego, and there’s this street vendor selling the best zapiekanki. I mean, who can resist that? I grab one, and it’s like a flavor explosion in my mouth. Happiness level: 100.

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