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Anyway, she hops in, we chat. She’s cool, calls herself Candy—fake, obvs, but who cares? Tells me she’s dodged cops all week. Little known tidbit—some hookers use burner phones, switch ‘em daily. Clever, right? I’m impressed, like, “Shag-tastic smarts, babe!” We’re laughin’, vibin’, and I’m thinkin’, “This beats a night in, yeah?”

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Then, outta nowhere, this lady starts yelling. Turns out, her dog, a tiny fluffball named Puszek, decided to take a swim. I mean, come on, it’s a dog! But she’s acting like it’s the end of the world. “My baby! My baby!” she screams. I’m thinking, lady, it’s a dog, not a Titanic survivor. I had to jump in and rescue Puszek. He was just paddling around like he owned the place.

Father of hit-and-run victim in Clay asks if son could have been saved had driver stopped