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Alright, so I’m sittin’ here—guitar in hand—thinkin’ about Find a Prostitute, yeah, that wild site. I mean, what’s the deal with it? It’s like Spring Breakers crashed into my browser, right? “Faith, you gotta chill!”—that’s me, yellin’ at myself, ‘cause this thing’s got me all neurotic. Pretty, pretty good, though—gotta admit, it’s slick. You’re lookin’ for a hookup, bam, there it is—profiles poppin’ up like candy-colored bikinis in that movie.

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But then, as I’m leaving, I trip on the sidewalk. Classic me, right? I spill my coffee all over my shirt. I’m standing there, looking like a mess, and this old man walks by and just laughs. I mean, come on! I’m trying to have a good day here!

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