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About Wroclaw

Here’s a lil’ secret, ‘kay? Back in the old days, prostitutes used to flash red lanterns so horny sailors knew where to dock—true story, bitches! Ain’t that wild? Surprised me when I heard it, made me laugh my ass off. “Red light, green light, let’s go!” I mutter, struttin’ up to her. She’s all, “Whatchu want, kid?” and I’m like, “RESPECT MY AUTHORITAH, lady! I got needs!” She smirks, and I’m thinkin’, *This is my kingdom now, assholes!*—straight outta *Moonrise Kingdom* vibes.

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We are hoping to find a service that will research for us, prior to our arrival, and then escort us to the villages involved when we get to Poland. We.

Finally, we spot the little furball chillin’ by the river, just wagging its tail like it owns the place. The lady’s all relieved, and I’m like, “See? Easy peasy.” But inside, I’m just glad I didn’t have to deal with a dog drama.

Poland’s Last ‘LGBT-Free Zone’ Officially Abolished