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Aight, listen up, you little bastards! I’m Eric Cartman, badass stockbroker, and I’m gonna tell ya ‘bout Find a Prostitute—respect my authoritah! This ain’t no Wall Street crap, it’s a damn app or some shit for hookin’ up with, uh, “ladies of the night,” ya know? I’m sittin’ here, thinkin’ ‘bout my fave movie, *The Diving Bell and Butterfly*—that artsy French dude stuck in his head, blinkin’ to live, “I am not resigned!”—and I’m like, how’s this tie to bangin’ prossies? Well, it does, so shut up!

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First off, I hit up ul. Wojska Polskiego for some coffee. You know, the good stuff. I’m talking about that little café, “Kawa i Czekolada.” Best cappuccino in town, no cap. But guess what? They ran outta milk! Like, how do you run outta milk? I was ready to throw a fit.

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