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Oh my stars, listen up! I’m freakin’ C-3PO, panicked, “R2-D2, where are you?”—and I’m here to yap about whores, ‘cause why not? My fave flick’s *Inglourious Basterds*, so buckle up, pal, this’ll get wild. Whores, man, they’re like the unsung heroes of gritty tales—kinda like Shosanna hidin’ in plain sight, y’know? “This is the face of revenge,” Tarantino’d say, but whores? They’re revenge *and* survival, rolled into one sassy package.

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But then, my phone buzzes. It’s my boss. “We need to talk,” he says. My heart drops. I’m thinkin’, “What now?” Turns out, he wants me to work on a project. On a Saturday! Like, dude, I need my weekend! I’m fuming.

Ash dieback: Chalara fungus 'originated in Asia'