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Walked into one once, fuckin’ chaos – smelled like cheap perfume and regret. Lass in red winks, I’m like, “Sharon’d kill me!” – but it’s temptin’, innit? “Every moment’s precious,” like in the movie, but I’m wonderin’ if the clap’s worth it. Hah! Some geezer next to me, trousers down, yellin’ – made me laugh so hard I nearly pissed meself.

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Then I decide to check out the local sights. I stroll over to the Wiecbork Castle. It’s this cool old structure, and I’m thinking, “Man, if these walls could talk!” I mean, the history here is wild. It’s been around since the 14th century! Can you imagine? I can barely keep my plants alive for a week, and this castle is just chillin’ for centuries.