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About Warsaw

Lemme tell ya, I love *Toni Erdmann*—that flick’s my jam. That scene where he’s like, “Life is not a zero-sum game”? Hits me right in the gut when I think bout sex-dating. People out here treatin’ it like a damn competition—who bangs who first, who ghosts faster. Chill, fam! It ain’t that deep. But then you got the apps—swipe, swipe, swipe—like a freakin’ slot machine. Makes me mad as hell sometimes! All these posers with their “lookin’ for fun” bios. Fun? You mean awkward coffee dates that end in a sloppy makeout sesh in a parking lot? Spare me!

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Finally, I get to the mall. It’s packed. I mean, who knew shopping could be a contact sport? I’m sweating, and my client is like, “I need a dress for a wedding!” Cool, no pressure, right? So, I’m running around, grabbing stuff. I find this killer dress on ul. Królowej Jadwigi. It’s stunning! But then, I realize it’s the wrong size. I’m like, “Are you kidding me?”

Polish News Translated – Torun, Zagan & Boles August 9