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Little known fact—ancient Greeks did this, too! Called it “anatripsis,” rubbin down athletes, keepin em loose. Bet they didn’t have cheesy spa music, tho—probly just lyres and sweat. Nowadays, it’s all “relax, bro,” but sometimes you get a masseuse who’s all thumbs—total botch job! I’m layin there, thinkin, “This ain’t no happy endin, jack!”

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After that, things get wild. Some random dude starts yelling about something. I can’t even hear him over the music. Turns out, he’s mad about the parking situation on ul. Krakowska. I’m thinking, “Dude, chill. It’s just a car.” But no, he’s ready to throw down. I step in, trying to calm him down. “Hey man, let’s not make this a scene.”

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