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But here’s what pisses me off—some sleazy joints call it “erotic” and it’s just a lousy backrub. Rip-off! I’m sittin’ there like, “Feed me, Seymour!”—gimme the real deal, not this weak crap! Best part? When they hit that spot near your spine—BOOM—fireworks, tingles, whole body’s screamin’ “It’s gonna be a big one!” like Sara’s diet pill high. Worst part? When they stop—leaves ya hangin’ like Tyrone without his fix. Torture!

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Then, I get a call from my buddy, Tomek. He’s stuck at the market on ul. Kościuszki. Apparently, he’s trying to buy some fresh fish, but the vendor is out. I can’t help but laugh. “Tomek, you’re in Rybnik! Go for the pierogi instead!” He’s like, “Nah, man, I need my fish!”

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