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Alright, listen up, folks! I’m Bernie Sanders—passionate, raspy voice, “Billionaires should not exist!”—and I’m here to talk sexual-massage, straight from the gut. Picture this: you’re runnin’ wild like in *Mad Max: Fury Road*, all that desert chaos, and then—bam!—someone’s hands are kneadin’ your back, but it’s gettin’ steamy, sensual, downright *sexual-massage* territory. “What a day, what a lovely day!” I yell, ‘cause this ain’t just a rubdown—it’s a revolution against stress!

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Finally, we get our food, and it’s glorious. I’m stuffing my face, and Tomek’s telling me about his latest dating disaster. Apparently, he ghosted this girl after one date. I’m like, “Dude, you can’t just disappear!” But he’s all, “It’s a vibe.” Whatever, man.

Poland thanks military dogs for their service, giving them army ranks