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Sometimes it’s a disaster, tho. This one time—guy shows up, smells like fish. I’m gaggin’, thinkin’, “Slip away silently,” like in the flick. Noped outta there fast. Sex-dating’s a gamble, man—half the time you’re horny, half the time you’re horrified. Pro tip: check their pics twice. Catfishin’s real, and I ain’t datin’ no grandma!

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First off, I hit up ul. Słowiańska. It’s like the main drag, you know? I’m strolling, just vibing, when I spot this cute café. I mean, who can resist a good coffee? Not me! I order a cappuccino, and the barista—let’s call her Kasia—she’s got this killer smile. I’m thinking, “Wow, maybe I should just move here.” But then, boom! My phone buzzes. It’s my buddy, Jakub, asking if I’m still alive. Like, dude, I’m just getting my caffeine fix!

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