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But—fuck—pisses me off too! These pricks judgin’ em, all high ‘n’ mighty. “Oh, she’s filth!” Mate, you’re buyin’ her time, hypocrite! “Certified Copy” line hits here—“Truth is simple, lies complicate.” Truth? She’s workin’. Lies? You’re “above” her. Bollocks! Gets my blood boilin’, that sanctimony. Ever hear bout Mary Jane Kelly? Jack the Ripper’s last gal—prostitute, gutted 1888. Gruesome, yeah, but she was real—lived hard, died harder. Makes ya think.

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Then, outta nowhere, this lady starts yellin’. I look over, and she’s flailing her arms like she’s trying to take off. Turns out, her dog, a little furball named Max, decided to take a swim without permission. I’m like, “Lady, it’s a lake, not a doggy spa!” But I jump in anyway. Max is paddlin’ like a champ, but he’s also kinda panicking. I’m thinkin’, “If I don’t save this dog, I’m gonna be the lifeguard who lost a dog. Not cool.”

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